Rhymes With Zero Chicks 2: Clix Harder

Oh god, kill me.

So I had a date today but she cancelled! Yeah!! That was a thing that happened. A bunch of folks go to the comic book store to play Heroclix on Friday night and something inside me thought, “Hey I guess this might be a thing to do.” And it certainly was a thing I did.

Short Version:

One. Big. Dark. Room.

Long Version:

Anydangways, as soon as I got there I had flashback to the magic tournaments of my youth. A bunch of dudes in grey shirts sitting around card tables and talking about weird numbers, “Perplex”, and some dude named Metron.

I spent a lot of the time watching games of Heroclix, which is really intensely boring! I learned some really good strategies for staring down at a tiny figurine of Superman. Apparently tiny Superman is really good in Heroclix.


I only played one game, and I used my tiny Secret Six team. As it turns out, the Secret Six are not very good against Superman. I lost in like… three turns. Superman is a huge dick. If I don’t have work I’ll probably go back next week and lose some more. It’ll be great! I also got a power gem. What the fuck is a power gem?

Remember Chadd’s list of people he’d like to see as Heroclix? Yeah? No? Yeah? I wanna do that too:

Stephanie Brown: Batgirl

Evil Plastic Man

The Condiment King

Jeanette from Secret Six

The Joker's Face

Some Ridiculous Batman Villain.



Some Cat.

This Other Cat.

Aaaaaaand... a Dog.

I think I’d like this game a lot better if there were no dice, all the guys were from Tiny Titans or the Legion of Superpets, and they were playing soccer. I’d play the shit out of that game.

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