Hey! You guys remember when I wrote about comic books every day for two weeks? Yeah? No? …no? Oh… well I did. It was great. That stuff is happening again. When the internet says “I’ll sell you 20 Batman Comics for $8.99,” I say “How the fuck do I send you all my money?!” I also went to the comic book store!! Happy comic books, everyone!
I, Vampire #6
Justice League Dark told me to read this book, and I did and I don’t really think I really gained anything from it. There are a bunch of vampires and Batman’s fighting them, so that was pretty cool. Then one of the vampires kills the Vampire who’s narrating and Madame Xanadu has a vision that guy is dead! Also ye olde Cain, the sire of all vampires, has risen.
Justice League Dark #7
The Dark Justice League show up to Batman fighting those Vampires. And Batgirl is there fighting them too! Hooray Batgirl!! Deadman jumps into a vampire to keep it from biting Batgirl, but it’s really cold in there. Constantine and Zatanna are having magic problems, Shade the Changing Man still can’t control his ridiculous vest. Madame Xanadu goes into a magic coma and talks to a Buddah Statue, Constantine sacrifices a rat.
Angel & Faith #8
This book is way better than Buffy, especially since there’s no surprise ending and no one is a robot! Yeah!
Faith’s Dad is there and he’s a whiny baby about owing some dude from Boston about a million dollars.. and they come to collect. Angel tries to scare them off by being a vampire, but those guys don’t give a fuck and try and shoot him to death. Faith chops off one dude’s hand with a sword, Angel tells them all to fuck off. Faith’s Dad is all like “Oh yay Faith you killed those guys like I wanted!! Thanks so much!” and she’s all like “I didn’t kill shit, get the fuck out my house!” He gets the fuck out her house.
Since she feels pretty bad about chopping off that one dude’s hand Faith goes to see Drusilla and her weird feelings mosquito monster and Angel finds it’s talons deep in Faith’s Skull! To be continued.
Green Lantern New Guardians #7
The New Guardians have been going through this system of giant planet shaped starships, and the king of all of these is some guy named Invictus. Invictus was the leader of a race of weird aliens who called themselves angels and him and the many planets he ruled over got totally killed by Larfleeze. It turns out Larfleeze has sent the Guardians here to try and kill this guy, because you know, he’s Larfleeze. Invictus is all “Kill him or I’ll kill all of you! Right in the face!” Right in the face, you guys.
The Walking Dead #95
Rick and his crew are openly welcomed into what seems to be a peaceful commune. After getting a tour of the facilities, the leader of the encampment is violently assaulted and stabbed in the gut. Rick, of course, slits this guy’s throat in the middle of a large crowd of people and expects them to give him a round of applause be like “Oh yeah Rick, that guy totally deserved that horrible violent murder! Great jorb!” instead of totally shocked.
Black Manta kills some guy, Mera is wanted by the Police, Aquaman and Mera stop a ship from being ravaged by a storm. Someone sunk Atlantis! Oh noes!
I’m gonna be honest, I was expecting to hate this book because of No-Organs-Supergirl and Damian “The Worst Robin” Wayne on the cover. It turns out, however that this book was really fun! Hooray!
Supergirl is in Gotham for some reason and sees a super gross murder scene of some Lex Corp interns. She feels really bad for not being able to do anything and she does to look for Batman. Instead, she finds arrogant-as-ever Damian Wayne fighting Killer Croc in a sewer. They go to Metropolis and do some detective stuff and Damian is all like “YOU’RE AN ALIEN! DO MY BIDDING! I’M THE SON OF THE GODDAMN BATMAN.”
Then they go to a Halloween party, Supergirl dresses up in a big pink bunny costume, Damian dresses up in a tiny pin striped suit and gets called “L’il Matches”. Bawwww. It turns out the Scarecrow killed a bunch of people near Halloween! Wow! You would think that the son of Batman would’ve thought of that, because it seems really obvious.
He does Supergirl with SUPER FEAR TOXIN and cries about not being a yellow lantern anymore. Kara and Damian are pretty cute together and this book was really light and fun.